My father lives in misery. He can say otherwise, but I see it everyday. He is weary of life. It seems like a joyless venture. To live, and just be happy, not be taxed by whatever worries, I don't see it him.

Have I adopted that view? I guess so. Just, it's hard to be passionate. It feels there's nothing there to be passionate about.

The way I perceive, from my father's life, is that life is work. And for what. retirement?

I see my sister, who alternatively lives with passion. It seems that way. She is inspired by what she sees, learns. That's who I want to be. To be able to connect with people.

I'm only seventeen. I can't be like this now. It's like I've given up already. I can't, I need to grow. I need to be inspired. I need to work towards something. I need a sense of accomplishment. I need to raise my grade in math and chem and english. Poo.

Stop sleeping. It's an addiction to sleeping that I have, that might be hampering me. Sleep is oblivion. Sleep is escape. There is no accomplishment in sleep. Only regret.

Do homework. Take the effort to learn. Have no shame.