therapy

Hello. I harbor resentments against my sister, who said some pretty mean things in a fit of childish rage. While I realize this remark may have been said when she was not in the right state of mind, these comments hit too close to the heart. This was an year ago, and yet, I still hurt. I realize I may have been repressing these feelings. Oh folly.

Right now, I wanna say, I hate you. I fucking hate you. You don't know how much it hurts. Even if you apologize, which you did, the words will always be there.

it's been a weight over my heart for a long time. I will always doubt myself because of you, doubt my own abilities, my own ability to be loved. Not because you're more successful than me at stuff, but because you, who loved me, said those words.

I know you love me, and I love you too. But just realize, how your tendency to make yourself into the Queen of England has pushed me into a corner where I wallow in self pity. Disgusting.

Am I projecting? possibly. Lord help me. I need to not care. I need to find my own bearings, an identity separate from that of you.